Are we, for example, post-religion (or post-marriage, etc.)?
I ask this question because of: –
– rising cases of anomie
– rising cases of divorce
– rising cases of deviant/self-destructive/maladaptive behaviour esp. among the youth
Taking religion for example – it is a man-made creation meant to explain the unknown. In truth no one knows everything (or what most religions claim to explain), in fact, compared to what there is to know we know nothing. Religion negates this and presupposes ‘pseudo-knowledge’ carefully crafted by intertwining history with myth to appeal to the emotions and psychology of a public mass who (in most cases) are in desperate need of self-actualisation and identity. In a post-religious society (which should not be confused with and atheistic one) the individual is at the centre, as should be, of his/her spiritual journey. Matters metaphysical (of the soul, will, spirit, etc.) can only be explored from within. This is where we depart from traditional religion.
On matters marriage. It is becoming increasingly apparent that under normal circumstances 1 human being can not stay with another human being indefinitely under a socially crafted institution – marriage. So, most relationships are either ending in divorce or dysfunction where those involved are barely tolerating each other to uphold a man-made institution. The interesting thing here is that without the institutionalisation of a relationship (which = marriage) the 2 people could actually live together happily for an indefinite period. Think of the relationship you have with say, your mother or brother – you were born into it. There was no ceremony or certificate stating that “From now on you will be so and so’s daughter/son/sister” …
Such relationships unfold, as they were meant to naturally, and that’s why, even in the face of troubling times which is normal in any relationship, they do survive and are overall ‘functional’ and ‘happy’ relationships. The institutionalisation of the relationship between 2 people in the name of a marriage has led to the decay of what is natural often boxing the 2 to unrealistic socially constructed expectations that eventually lead to a collapse.
In a post-religious society we have knowledge, lived experience, and the essential (call it intuition, ‘faith’, gut-feeling, Holy Spirit, daemon, or whatever you want) taking the place of churches, mosques, temples, pastors and priests. Think of it this way, a man/woman who is at the post-institutional level is like a 4-dimensional being; a 2 or 3-dimensional being can not fathom/affect a 4-dimensional one.
I apologise for the overly philosophical post but I hope it does get though to you.
Alright!! Well, I have been coming across such posts/comments so much lately. I am Christian. I also have some questions the Bible doesn’t answer for me. Not other religions have the answer. At the back of mind, the thought the religion was made by man to try tame us is right there. Yet, I can also not negate the benefits I have received from being a believer.
Nowadays I hold onto the truth that what you believe becomes your truth. As it becomes real for you. There are instances science has proven things religion can’t stand a chance in proving. But there are instances my faith has come through for me in ways no science can explain. With all this knowledge and what I continue to experience, I still choose to believe in the Bible and the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
I get puzzled. There are so many needy people I know who are always reading the Bible from sun up to sun down. Some severely disabled… physically or otherwise challenged. Yet, their circumstances remain the same! That is where I question a god who seems to be partial, answering some people but ignoring others. Then to shut us up we are told some gibberish like ‘God works in mysterious ways’ which we repeat through generations until the truth is hidden or just buried under semantics!
My take: no one needs religion to be a good person!!
Great question! I believe we are gradually turning into an era where the people (mostly women) who were upholding marriage are now conscious and self-reliant. Considering that the institution of marriage was solely meant to be controlled by men and they benefit more from the relationship. So maybe we are approaching post-ignorant society, where women are no longer accepting the bad culture that has made them submissive to men in marriages where it isn’t companionship for them. So the problem is not as a result of the institutionalization of marriage by religion- because as the case may be the guidelines of marriage which are being followed by society are very little from the teachings of the religion but culture- the problem is that people are not accepting the toxic conditions that they used to live with, and this is what is affecting the way we live now.
Also, I think mother-daughter/son or father-son/daughter are institutionalized relationships as well. This can be backed by a child’s birth certificate, it is a signed relationship. Also, brother-sister relationships are signed when they are your next of kin, that’s to an extent an institutionalized relationship.
Intersting views!
A correction though (forgive me if I wasn’t clear), by ‘post-marriage/religion/institutionalisation’ I mean the existence of relationships better & more fulfilling than those in the current state. In such an advanced state, unlike what you described, BOTH parties in a relationship will be happy and mutually build each other. Yes, as you so rightly put, in many situations the women in marriages suffer most. But then again, this in itself is an irony since marriage is supposed to be a union of 2 people who love each other and a union no-one is forced into … which begs the question, if I am suffering, why am I/did I get married?
The answer is back to everything I described – people entering marriage with false expectations usually coupled with a sense of selfishness. Usually, it is ‘what can I get from this?’ as opposed to ‘what can I give?’ and ‘what can we build together?’.
In my opinion (& personal experience/preference) a healthy relationship is one where those in it are in it by pure choice – if I do something for my partner I do so not expecting anything but simply because I ‘choose to’ because I love the person. This is what I call a ‘post-instutionalized relationship’, where relations are organic, natural, sincere and co-created.
I would say to anyone, marriage is not a must nor is a relationship with anyone. You can remain single & do what you want. However, in my above described relationship one would still do whatever they want because they would be with the RIGHT person who forms a powerful duo with as opposed to a person who pulls you down or you feel you need to ‘submit’ to.
Thank you for the clarification. But again I think my answer was leading to that, maybe I ended up not being clear.
My point is that the moment two people get into a relationship with one person believing that they have the “bigger voice”and the other party ends up realising that that concept is false, they will eventually fall out. That is where I was driving at, that people not subscribing to the institution of marriage anymore can be as a result of the revolutionary awakenness of women and them being self conscious, like I mentioned earlier, in my opinion. Perhaps it is one of those bad cultural practices that we leave behind while we move into a more “modernized world” because I think that whole institution of marriage is more patriarchal (culture) than religious.
I understand your point but however, I think that even “non institutionalized” relationships require the same amount of commitment depending on how much you value relationships for both parties to live happily, and marriage is not any different from this I believe. It all comes down to how much you are willing to compromise or not. All depends on you, but whatever the type of relationship you are in there are still going to be expectations because that is how we coexist
I love your post! Unfortunately most Africans (being African I avoid to discuss other than Africa) totally refuse…(because no one stops them)…or are incapable of removing themselves from themselves and analysing stuff from their own perspective. I blame our education and socialization and culture where you are supposed to just fit in and shut up! Only those who refuse to conform are ever curious enough to stop and think and demystify stuff… religion, culture, popular norms. Biggest culprit our schooling system which by default doesn’t allow people to leave the beaten path. I am where I am appalled, terrified that nothing will ever change to save us from ourselves.
As opposed to the traditional teachings of the Catholic Church in which poverty was a virtue and labour simply a means for maintaining the individual and community, the Protestant sects began to see hard, continuous labour as a spiritual end in itself. Hard labour was firstly an ascetic technique of worldly renunciation and a defence against temptations and distractions: the unclean life, sexual temptations, and religious doubts