Red flags appear as attractive lights when in the honeymoon or infatuation phase of a relationship and your partner appears perfect. How do you snap out of that love cloud and identify disrespect?
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Listen. Speak. Unlearn. Discover.
Listen. Speak. Unlearn. Discover.
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When your partner start calling you names, constantly ignore your calls, talks to you in a rude manner, when he doesn’t want to be question about anything.
You’re not a priority
When you’re in a healthy relationship, both partners commit to making each other a priority. They put each other first. This is the ultimate sign of respect. But if your partner spends more time with their friends or at work, it shows they’re not fully invested in the relationship. If they did respect you, the lack of time they spend with you would bother them.
They try to hurt your feelings
If your partner is trying to hurt you purposely, not only is this very disrespectful, but it’s also highly abusive. You should never want to hurt the person you care for. This can also be a form of manipulation. Narcissists use it very successfully to erode away at self-confidence, so the person is reliant upon them in the end.
Your partner ignores you, doesn’t ask for your opinion on things, changes his/her routine and doesn’t listen to you anymore. Sometimes he/she creates unnecessary misunderstandings so you can quarrel. Disrespect is a sign your partner is tired of you and feels like that relationship is becoming toxic
When your partner does not spend quality time with you, when he/she does not return your call, when You’re not a priority, when he or she doesn’t keep his/ her word
The relationship just doesn’t feel good
We know this sounds simple, but when you’re in a disrespectful relationship, you never feel truly happy. There are happy moments, but more often than not, there’s a lot of yelling, screaming, and crying. Those small happy moments don’t outweigh the pain that’s filling the relationship.
They don’t keep their word
Who else can you trust if not your partner? When our partner tells us that they’re going to do something, we expect them to follow through on their word. This is only normal. But your partner routinely makes promises and never follows through. This shows you they don’t respect you, and the relationship isn’t a priority for them.
Disrespect in a relationship can be served in many different ways. Some termed lesser than other but all in all, it still is disrespect. It could be your partner failing to communicate about things or communicating less only means they feel they are so above that unless given a really valid reason. Them not apologising for hurting you and instead gaslight you… this is actually a toxic trait in a relationship. When your partner starts to throw harsh words at you or shaming you when you are arguing, that should underline the disrespect you are looking to see. Some people might defend their partners saying they weren’t that way before. So they wait for them to change. Even worse, still try to find closure when they break up. I’m here to tell you this, the disrespect was the closure. At least that’s what I think. Whichever way it was served, we call it as it is.
Your partner doesn’t listen to you
When you talk to your partner, you feel like you’re talking to a wall. They’re not actively listening to you. Instead, they grunt or make the minimal effort to show they’re engaged, but you know they’re not. If your partner is showing zero interest when you talk to them, this is a sign of disrespect
They don’t keep their word
Who else can you trust if not your partner? When our partner tells us that they’re going to do something, we expect them to follow through on their word. This is only normal. But your partner routinely makes promises and never follows through. This shows you they don’t respect you, and the relationship isn’t a priority for them.
They lie to you
These lies don’t need to be big ones. They can be small, insignificant lies. But the point is, why lie to your partner about small, stupid things? If they’re lying to you about small things, it shows you they’re not concerned whether you know the truth or not. And if that happens, well, who knows what they’re capable of hiding from you.
They don’t respect your boundaries
Everyone has their own personal boundaries. And with time, you learn what your partner likes and doesn’t like. If you respect your partner, you don’t cross their personal boundaries. But if there’s a lack of disrespect, those boundaries don’t matter, and your partner will push their limits to make you feel uncomfortable.
They talk down to you
We all tease each other and crack jokes if something funny happens, but never with the intent to put someone down. However, does your partner routinely use language that makes you feel small? Calling you “idiot,” “stupid,” or “a dumbass,” these are all words that are used to emotionally squash someone and is one of the clearest signs of disrespect in a relationship.
They don’t want to spend time with your family and friends
When you’re in a relationship with someone, you’ll meet their family and friends. Of course, you may not like all the people they hang around, but those are the people in their closest circle.
If your partner refuses to spend time with the people in your circle of friends and family, it’s disrespectful. It’s your duty as a couple to support each other, which also includes spending time with family and friends.
They love to give you the silent treatment
When you argue, instead of communicating, they give you the silent treatment. The silent treatment is a form of manipulation in the truest sense because it leaves the person unsure of what’s going to happen. Through the silent treatment, they can control your emotions and manipulate you to take the blame.
Nagging, criticism,stonewalling,lying,put downs,pressuring the other and disloyalty.