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Fatumas Voice Latest Questions

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Daisy Mwikali
Kifaru

Where do you seek help when you experience sexual problems?

Sex is often considered a universally positive force: energizing, empowering and exciting.

But the reality is, difficulties with sex are also very common.

In fact, many women feel that sex is unrewarding, uncomfortable or painful.

Where do you seek help when you experience sexual problems, like lack of interest, problems with arousal, difficulty reaching orgasm, anxiety or pain?

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Best Answer

  1. I’d say matters sex are very personalised (not ‘personal’) which means the genesis of solution should be firstly from the individual. In my very short life-span thus far on earth, I have discovered that sex is complex because it traverses 4 elements that make up a human being – physical, emotional,Read more

    I’d say matters sex are very personalised (not ‘personal’) which means the genesis of solution should be firstly from the individual.

    In my very short life-span thus far on earth, I have discovered that sex is complex because it traverses 4 elements that make up a human being – physical, emotional, psychological & spiritual/essential (that which pertains to the essence or ‘soul’ if you like).

    Also, most people fail to realise that sexual energy and hence sexual well-being is in constant flux. It only makes sense if you consider the above (4) elements. Most sex-related problems arise from (falsely) assuming that sexual well-being is static.

    I will not say more, but leave you with these 2 scenarios to ponder in the hope that they will shed light towards an answer for you:

    a) If I am physically attracted to a woman then, say, later learn she has an obnoxious character (i.e. treating staff in a hotel disrespectfully, selfishness or being mean to children) I lose interest and even do not find her attractive anymore which is interesting because she hasn’t physically changed. This implies a change in the essential (of the 4 above).

    b) you said “many women feel that sex is unrewarding, uncomfortable or painful” this is true and it will surprise you that it also applies to men. What is ‘rewarding’ to you? This question implies an expectation one has prior to having sex which would be an emotional or physical satisfaction, or both. ‘Uncomfortable & pain’ could be physical or psychological – this means there’s a barrier that needs to be overcome (for psychological) e.g. past trauma, etc.

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3 Her Answers

  1. I think you can visit a gynecologist to get better assistance, l think he is the best person that can handle that.

    I think you can visit a gynecologist to get better assistance, l think he is the best person that can handle that.

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  2. I have a big sister whom I usually refer to her as 'deputy mom's. everytime I encounter anything depressing in my relationship, I turn to her for advice. She is really good at it

    I have a big sister whom I usually refer to her as ‘deputy mom’s. everytime I encounter anything depressing in my relationship, I turn to her for advice. She is really good at it

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  3. First and foremost,one should talk to his/her partner about the concerns. From there they can try change their romance to something unique perhaps breaking the bedroom boredom,trying to reminisce the romantic life ,try being wild and freaky in bed 😉,try going for dinner dates and organise surprise gRead more

    First and foremost,one should talk to his/her partner about the concerns. From there they can try change their romance to something unique perhaps breaking the bedroom boredom,trying to reminisce the romantic life ,try being wild and freaky in bed 😉,try going for dinner dates and organise surprise gifts for each other .In doing so ,it will bring spark to the relationship .

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3 Answers

  1. I’d say matters sex are very personalised (not ‘personal’) which means the genesis of solution should be firstly from the individual. In my very short life-span thus far on earth, I have discovered that sex is complex because it traverses 4 elements that make up a human being – physical, emotional,Read more

    I’d say matters sex are very personalised (not ‘personal’) which means the genesis of solution should be firstly from the individual.

    In my very short life-span thus far on earth, I have discovered that sex is complex because it traverses 4 elements that make up a human being – physical, emotional, psychological & spiritual/essential (that which pertains to the essence or ‘soul’ if you like).

    Also, most people fail to realise that sexual energy and hence sexual well-being is in constant flux. It only makes sense if you consider the above (4) elements. Most sex-related problems arise from (falsely) assuming that sexual well-being is static.

    I will not say more, but leave you with these 2 scenarios to ponder in the hope that they will shed light towards an answer for you:

    a) If I am physically attracted to a woman then, say, later learn she has an obnoxious character (i.e. treating staff in a hotel disrespectfully, selfishness or being mean to children) I lose interest and even do not find her attractive anymore which is interesting because she hasn’t physically changed. This implies a change in the essential (of the 4 above).

    b) you said “many women feel that sex is unrewarding, uncomfortable or painful” this is true and it will surprise you that it also applies to men. What is ‘rewarding’ to you? This question implies an expectation one has prior to having sex which would be an emotional or physical satisfaction, or both. ‘Uncomfortable & pain’ could be physical or psychological – this means there’s a barrier that needs to be overcome (for psychological) e.g. past trauma, etc.

    See less
  2. Off course seeking help is something of humans, & so well in everything a man will do he/she will face problems, by so doing they would definitely seek for help, so if a lady seeks for sexual problems such as lack of sexual interest or whatever interest it isn’t a big deal but I see it as she trRead more

    Off course seeking help is something of humans, & so well in everything a man will do he/she will face problems, by so doing they would definitely seek for help, so if a lady seeks for sexual problems such as lack of sexual interest or whatever interest it isn’t a big deal but I see it as she trying to solve her own problems.

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  3. Having an open communication with one's partner ensures that one always has someone to talk to.

    Having an open communication with one’s partner ensures that one always has someone to talk to.

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