So hey y’all christians who are intentionally dating ( the godly way and for marriage). What boundaries have you put in place. I watched a video on youtube urging young christians who are dating to not go to each other’s house at all. Your thoughts? Cant you very deliberately decide what you cannot do even if you go to each other’s house??? Your thoughts?
What are the boundaries in christian dating?
There’s verse in the bible that talks about self-control. 2nd Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us the spirit of fear but of love, power and self-control”. We have been given self-control,therefore you can visit each other’s house and you can draw boundaries.
Thank you for sharing this verse. If God indeed gives up all self-control, where does temptation come from? Is this desire also not from God?
This is an interesting topic. As a Muslim I can relate to this. I think dating someone whom you share the same values and principles in life should make things a lot easier. Someone who will respect your boundaries not because they want to or have to but because they share the same principles too. Someone you share the same discipline grounds with, that way you wouldn’t have to explain why you don’t feel comfortable doing certain things. For example, I couldn’t imagine myself sharing a home with someone I am dating because it goes against my beliefs and principles. Find someone on your level of understanding.
I like how you put it. Shared values and principles are key.
Mutual respect, consideration and understanding for one another (especially when it comes to one’s feelings) Not allowing anyone to force or pressure you to do anything you don’t want to do (especially when it comes to sex of any kind before marriage)
Life is a choice and choices have consequences. If you cant avoid temptations then don’t go to your partners house as emotions might be high and one would have gone against the Christian way.
Temptations will always be there. Loving someone and staying away from them because of temptations does not look like love to me.
Set clear, physical boundaries upfront
It is so important early on when dating to make sure you are on the same page with waiting until marriage to have sex.
Identify triggers or times where you feel more tempted
It’s important to be extra careful in certain places or times of day that you are most tempted.
For example, I recommend setting a rule or boundary about spending time alone at each other’s places and defining how late is too late to be hanging out.
Traveling together, sharing a bed together, or living together
Don’t do it. Don’t travel alone and do not share a bed together. Don’t move in with each other before you are married.
Listen to the Holy Spirit
Our convictions from the Holy Spirit may be different compared to others.
While some couples may feel okay making out, this may be too much for other couples and we must listen to the Holy Spirit and how God is guiding us
I remember attending youth camps and there was always a topic on courtship and marriage. We were always taught the christian way of how to handle courtship considering there will always be challenges and temptations every now and then. Knowing fornication is a major temptation in relationships, we were advised to always avoid being in places, mostly private, where it could trigger illicit thoughts among dating partners.
Christians who are dating need to follow what the Bible says regarding everything that surrounds their relationship. It involves a lot of sacrifice and commitment.
Mutual respect consideration and understanding for one another.
In christian dating, moral values should be observed. For example pre marital sex is not allowed in christian dating. A couple should also not move in together before an official wedding is done. It also restricts having more than one patner when dating. Amongst many other restrictions, these boundaries that have been put to christian dating but is hard to be followed by the current generation despite them calling themselves christians.