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Mutua
Chui

Why do people get married if they are not ready for commitment?

If you’re feeling major cold feet, that could be a sign that you not be ready for marriage. Couple can have different degrees of readiness when it comes to marriage but when that difference is too much, that is a major red flag! For some people, marriage is part of the expected course of a relationship, while for others it is necessary.

Someone posted online that married men in Nairobi have two houses. One is hidden somewhere along Thika Road while another is in the leafy suburbs of Nairobi where the wife and kids live. There are some three guys who pay rent for some house. They have even furnished it so all they have to do is notify the other two when they want to use it for extra-marital affairs.

The best thing to do, when you are not ready for marriage like your partner, is to communicate clearly about it and either came up with a solution or leave the person before it is too late. Not feeling excited about marriage is normal, especially when you are not ready for commitment or are getting married for the wrong reasons.

Having your boyfriend of girlfriend ready for marriage while you are not is a common relationship problem. I can quote friends who were as deep into a relationship as being engaged but he or she is not ready to get married. They ended up getting marriage because it seemed as the natural progression of a relationship.

This happens while they still had conflicting attitudes towards the idea of commitment with their partners. Confusion arises and that pushes them to get married for the wrong reasons. When you are not sure of what it is and you know you’re not ready just stop because it will end in tears.

People think that divorce is usually an easy option but the financial, emotional and physical energy needed to go through it can be too much to handle.

Don’t break into someones heart if you plan to leave them in pieces. We have many people out there who are ready for flings but not everyone can handle heart matters.

Be honest about what you want, agree on a timeline and set boundaries as well as expectations. If they can’t handle all that, just leave…

Related Questions

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4 Her Answers

  1. Some get married due to pressure from friends and parents., and in most cases if you go in as a result of pressure you will face a lot of challenges.

    Some get married due to pressure from friends and parents., and in most cases if you go in as a result of pressure you will face a lot of challenges.

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  2. If you are in love with your partners potential and not their present self, you may not be ready for marriage… talk about it or leave! If you don’t feel connected, you may not be ready for marriage… talk about it or leave! If you are keeping secrets from each other, you may not be ready for marriageRead more

    If you are in love with your partners potential and not their present self, you may not be ready for marriage… talk about it or leave!
    If you don’t feel connected, you may not be ready for marriage… talk about it or leave!
    If you are keeping secrets from each other, you may not be ready for marriage… talk about it or leave!
    If you think divorce is not a big deal, you may not be ready for marriage… talk about it or leave!
    If you don’t want the same things, you may not be ready for marriage… talk about it or leave!
    If you value independence, you may not be ready for marriage… talk about it or leave!
    If you are not over your ex, you may not be ready for marriage… talk about it or leave!
    If you are too focussed on your career, you may not be ready for marriage… talk about it or leave!
    If you are running into it as a quick fix for something, you may not be ready for marriage… talk about it or leave!
    If you are together for the wrong reasons,, you may not be ready for marriage… talk about it or leave!
    If you don’t have aligning values, morals and beliefs, you may not be ready for marriage… talk about it or leave!
    If you are constantly having arguments about the same thing, you may not be ready for marriage… talk about it or leave!
    If you already have an exit plan,, you may not be ready for marriage… talk about it or leave!

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  3. Some people get married due to pressure from their parents. They rush into marriage without really knowing their partner inside out and also not considering if they are really ready to be committed to their spouse. Others go through the trouble of agreeing with their parents, who have arranged a marRead more

    Some people get married due to pressure from their parents. They rush into marriage without really knowing their partner inside out and also not considering if they are really ready to be committed to their spouse.
    Others go through the trouble of agreeing with their parents, who have arranged a marriage for them with the family of their spouse. If this happens, one may not want to be with the arranged partner and therefore will not be able to commit to them.
    Some people just neglect this call once they get married because they see that they have already shown the world that they have someone and they don’t need to show more to that. It’s a challenge some people in marriages face.
    I tend to think we should really be sure of what we want, how we want it, and who we want, before settling down to start a family. This is because that is a life decision that is expected to be maintained before man and God.

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  4. I believe some people get into marriages without knowing how demanding things really are in this institution. They have never had to deal with disappointments that involve a union and therefore when they begin to experience challenges of marriage take toll on them or weigh them down , instead of comRead more

    I believe some people get into marriages without knowing how demanding things really are in this institution. They have never had to deal with disappointments that involve a union and therefore when they begin to experience challenges of marriage take toll on them or weigh them down , instead of committing and working around the issues to make it successful, they chose to neglect their responsibilities by blaming their partners or walk away. Such negligence is what appear to the struggling partners as lack of commitment.

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  5. It's how the society works. Let's take, for example, when ladies are approaching the age of 30, they tend to feel like they are getting old and would most unlikely meet their lifetime partners while in their 30s. this brings about the pressure to get married because you don't what to be left out andRead more

    It’s how the society works. Let’s take, for example, when ladies are approaching the age of 30, they tend to feel like they are getting old and would most unlikely meet their lifetime partners while in their 30s. this brings about the pressure to get married because you don’t what to be left out and be an old maid

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2 Him Answers

  1. for most people it's not about being ready for commitment but a bow to societal pressure which gives an age limit for when someone needs to have a family.

    for most people it’s not about being ready for commitment but a bow to societal pressure which gives an age limit for when someone needs to have a family.

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2 Answers

  1. I think it’s the societal pressure that comes with it. You may be approaching your 30s your parents are on your neck wanting a kid. Your peers getting married and settling while you’re still single. You choose just to settle for the sake of it.

    I think it’s the societal pressure that comes with it. You may be approaching your 30s your parents are on your neck wanting a kid. Your peers getting married and settling while you’re still single. You choose just to settle for the sake of it.

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