Many people choose to continue staying with their abusive partners and undergo intimate partner violence silently,are there reasons as to why this happens?
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Many people choose to continue staying with their abusive partners and undergo intimate partner violence silently,are there reasons as to why this happens?
When kids are involve, women are usually reluctant to walk way from abusive relationship, another factor is fear of starting over again when you are financially unstable it is not easy to walk away. Lastly fear of what other people will say.
Well, for some…the communities they come from are against separation and not even civilization can change the way people in such communities carry themselves. Others are scared to lose child custody if a child is involved in the relationship. Some are threatened for extreme damage by their partners which might force them to stick to the relationship like slaves. In the end, how each one of us view relationship and their strategies to handle the challenges brought about by it vary and only an individual can make that ultimate decision to quit or to stay on.
Well, for some…the communities they come from are against separation and not even civilization can change the way people in such communities carry themselves. Others are scared to lose child custody if a child is involved in the relationship. Some are threatened for extreme damage by their partners which might force them to stick to the relationship like slaves. In the end, how each one of us view relationship and their strategies to handle the challenges brought about by it vary and only an individual can make that ultimate decision to quit or to stay on.
Many people are scared to start over. It’s never easy to let go of what you are used to just so you can start all over again. People, moreso ladies, tend to prefer holding on and giving their partner time to change their hurtful behaviours.
Also people are scared to love again. The thought of that makes them want to stay in their toxic relationships, rather than leave and find someone else. Making that step isn’t easy for most people.
You could be so much in love, that you fail to realize that you are actually getting hurt by the one you love. You take it as “they love me so much and that’s why they are acting up like this”. Which is a bad concept to stick by. You’ve been blinded by your feelings for your partner.
Others even go ahead and say that I did this wrong and that they deserve that as punishment. They take it as an act of correcting their wrongs even if it was minor and didn’t deserve that treat. It’s so wrong and people should open their eyes wider to see the bigger picture here.
Walk out of a toxic relationship before we totally lose you.
Most are constrained by the notion of love. This might sound weird but most people have a fetish for aggressive people and bad boys. Most partners go back because they “love” their partners with the hope they’ll change but it’s a cycle of hope that never bears fruits
Other than the formation of a traumatic bonding with the abuser, PTSD may also arise in the form of better the devil you know than the angel you don’t. A thought driven by the subconscious later accepted by the conscious mind that the current situation is better than one which is uncertain. Fear of the unknown of future possibilities of either worse abuse or stigma from people of being a victim of abuse that is majorly fueled by shame.
Poverty is one of the major contributors for this.
I think many underestimate the impact abuse can have on one’s mind. If you think about it, our minds are directly related to how we see, understand and function. Now when someone is abused to the point of surrender know it’s because they feel defeated and helpless to do anything about their situation. This will affect how one sees themselves, affects friendships even the relationship one has with their own children. Can I also stress that abusers are not abusive all the time, they will abuse, cause trauma and then go back to the loving person they pretended to be when courting their partner. This is usually done through love bombing. The abuser will do whatever is necessary to keep their partner around. Usually victims are co dependent and hold onto the belief that the abuser may change one day. It’s mind control, a game the victim isn’t aware of. Best believe if an abuser was abusive all the time, no victim would stay a day longer. We also tend to forget that some may not even know it’s abuse. They are conditioned to question themselves and not trust their own judgement. Abuse leaves you soulless. You will be left with just a body, thoughtless and deteriorating slowly as the abuse goes on
Children also play a huge part in this. Women are told to make marriage work for the sake of the children over and over again so much so the message is ingrained in some. They believe putting their children before their needs, not wanting to raise them in a broken home but don’t know what’s best for themselves and their children is leaving the abusive situation . An abusive marriage is already a broken home, sadly not many realise it.
Another reason could be that the victim is financially dependent. The abuser may be in full control of any money that comes into the household whether it’s her card or not. What is a victim to do in such cases? She cannot leave penniless especially with children in tow. It’s never as easy as just packing your bags and leaving everything you’ve been conditioned to behind, bare in mind with nothing to start over again.
I hope I’ve shed some light on this.
Fear of ridicule and the unknown?
Majority do stay in toxic relationships because of Kids.
The culture and most of them stays becouse of there children ,
I have this friend who is in a very abusive marriage. Everytime I see her, I get to see new scars on her body until one day I told her it’s not too late to call it quits. The answer I got startled me because she said her husband was way too handsome and that’s the reason she will never leave the guy. poor her!
I think it has everything to do with “what will people say?” as Africans like impressing other people.