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  1. Brenda Gutu
    Brenda Gutu Kifaru Doctorate Student of Clinical Psychology

    If animals living under water need only a small amount of oxygen to live, I am curious how much oxygen a human needs to live and how much of that can be extracted from water and which technology would have that capability. Also considerations would have to be made for fresh or salty water bodies andRead more

    If animals living under water need only a small amount of oxygen to live, I am curious how much oxygen a human needs to live and how much of that can be extracted from water and which technology would have that capability. Also considerations would have to be made for fresh or salty water bodies and anoxic water areas.

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  2. Brenda Gutu
    Brenda Gutu Kifaru Doctorate Student of Clinical Psychology
    This answer was edited.

    This conversation is very important. What I know is that religion has been used as a tool to justify the oppression of others who are unlike us. And stemming from cultural beliefs and reinforced by religion, people who are transgender, intersex, or basically on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum have been ignoreRead more

    This conversation is very important. What I know is that religion has been used as a tool to justify the oppression of others who are unlike us. And stemming from cultural beliefs and reinforced by religion, people who are transgender, intersex, or basically on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum have been ignored, overlooked and are a hidden population obviously why? Discrimination.

    I believe it begins with us, to create awareness by displaying our pronouns in this platform then we can begin to sensitize ourselves among us in this platform then we can learn to make it a part of our conversations in our day to day life.

    For example by asking, “How do you identify yourself? How would you prefer to be addressed? Rather, what are your pronouns?”

    People might give the, “Huh” expression, but that is an opportunity to explain more… Like…

    “I identify as she/her/hers, what are your pronouns?”

    Well, it should be a natural conversation, not forceful. People can choose to identify themselves or not depending on how comfortable a person is with you.

    One time, a person chose to confide in me that they prefer to identify as she, her, they; but, as she, her, hers with strangers. I appreciate that kind of discourse because it shows that people have to feel a sense of trust to identify their pronouns to another person or group.

    Also education around this is important because some people might identify as she, her, hers but their sexual orientation is bi for example. It is not upto us to judge and fill in other people’s pronouns, it is up to them. Their identity.

    I believe that education around sexuality beyond the binary is a conversation that many people in Africa are demonizing. You are right. Religion is one of the factors. Used to oppress others. ‘We are better than them’, ‘We are holier than them’, ‘They will burn in eternal fire’, ‘We are as pure and white as snow’, Blah Blah Blah…. Religion is a tool of oppression period.

    What I know is that I respect people equally, be you the President of the United States, be you the child in the room, be you the drunkard roaming the streets, be you the homeless person in the street, be you Jesus of Nazareth, I respect people equally because the higher power I believe in sees all as equals and LOVE as the purest form of RELIGION.

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  3. Brenda Gutu
    Brenda Gutu Kifaru Doctorate Student of Clinical Psychology
    This answer was edited.

    Interesting question! ☺ I repressed my several desires because of different reasons. Withheld expressing sexual desires because of sexualization of sin. The way religion is designed I was made to feel sooooo wrong even just thinking a tiny sensual thought because I thought God would be angry with meRead more

    Interesting question! ☺

    I repressed my several desires because of different reasons.

    Withheld expressing sexual desires because of sexualization of sin. The way religion is designed I was made to feel sooooo wrong even just thinking a tiny sensual thought because I thought God would be angry with me and I would burn in eternal fire. Overtime, reconciling with myself about my own understanding of God, I have found freedom in expressing myself sexually without fear of how the high Deity sees me! It is how I see myself that matters. After all I realized that sex, food, shelter and clothing are all basic needs. So we could say that at a younger age where my moral development as a human being was taking shape, I judged myself too harshly so that others would not have a chance to judge me. So age and how one has been socialised definitely influence how we view sex and loving sexual relationships.

    I am glad to say I found sexual freedom!

    I also withheld from walking with a totally shaven head because I wondered, “how would they look at me? Would they criticise me?” So one day by accident the barber who was experiencing alcohol withdrawal symptoms (his hands were severely shaking and I still trusted him to cut my hair nicely); messed up a small part in the middle of my afro! I had to clean shave the whole head yet I was going to a huge conference! I gathered all my courage, dressed up professionally and hot for the occasion and showed up to the conference for the three days, with my head held high! I had an option to nicely do a turban but I took that as an opportunity to face the beautiful shiny shaven head in the mirror and stand among other human beings like hell yeah! I deserve to be here too! 😂

    Realized that repressing makes me a very angry soul so I have learned to stay with open arms to receive all the goodness that the universe has to offer.

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  4. Brenda Gutu
    Brenda Gutu Kifaru Doctorate Student of Clinical Psychology
    This answer was edited.

    Diana, wow… Thank you for summoning my inner guru… Sometimes I have thought about this question but in a future kind of way… So here goes… My children are still a little too young, but it’ll only be a matter of a few years until they will be teens. So I tend to think, they probably know about sex frRead more

    Diana, wow… Thank you for summoning my inner guru… Sometimes I have thought about this question but in a future kind of way… So here goes…
    My children are still a little too young, but it’ll only be a matter of a few years until they will be teens.
    So I tend to think, they probably know about sex from school. Study of the reproductive systems as well as some conversations by other teens in school, home, movies too. So teens probably already know. However, it is important to have age appropriate conversations with a teen while maintaining neutrality.
    Okay here’s the thing, sometimes you may talk to them about sex in a way that they never knew and they realize you are giving them new ‘insightful’ information… Pun intended… Then, they go experiment with what they heard from you.
    I honestly believe that such conversations are not discourses that happen in a blink of an eye! They should happen and get deeper over time. So it is important to maintain not only a disciplinarian role, but also a friend role. Keeping the communication channels open that no kind of conversation or question is to be judged harshly or out of context and ignored as stupid.
    Imagine how the teenage boy would yield if you went in asking to have candid conversations about some of the most difficult questions they have been struggling with in their mind, while reminding them, you may be their mom but you’re also their friend. Reminding them that you may not have all the answers but that it is a healthy moment for them to let you in on their lives and what issues they have been struggling with. If they said nothing and nothing at all… Then you can go in and ask subtle questions. And of course if they can’t answer, because they are shy, go in with analogies and scenarios like, role play to add on to that.
    Like pose them some questions to do with real life instead of seeming like you are asking direct questions. What is sex… Do you know sex is bad out of marriage…. Blah blah blah… Instead go in with questions that involve scenarios… If Mary asked Barry a b c d, what would you do if it were you? Questions like those make more sense and hopefully the conversation comes from a place of friendship unlike judgement.
    Finally, if you want to tie sex to religion, it’s up to you. Other times I think that we are not supposed to grow from a place of fear. I personally grew up fearing to be seen with boys. What if like the youths of these days, people get high on alcohol, weed or whatever and they suddenly engage in risky sexual behaviour…. How?
    The answer is easy…. When high, there is zero sense of fear… Just an illusion of fun and freedom… And they will indulge all night I tell you and they will talk about it as though it is meaningless…. But hey! Sex is not meaningless!
    The best way to approach this issue is from a personal values angle. As you teach them discipline with other aspects of life, teach these kids emotional regulation and emotional discipline for their sake as well adjusted men in this society. Build their emotional intelligence (EQ). Teach the boys how best to respect themselves to know that it is important to respect other people too including girls. And to cultivate a protector, carer spirit in our teen boys.
    And this message goes for teen girls too!
    Beautiful question Diana!
    Let me in on what you think?!

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  5. Brenda Gutu
    Brenda Gutu Kifaru Doctorate Student of Clinical Psychology
    This answer was edited.

    Here’s the thing, in the past one month, every time I touch the door knob, the locker knob, the window knob, I keep getting zapped by this extraordinary amount of static electricity. I should also tell you that those houses with metallic shower knobs are just not for me, I will get real electric shoRead more

    Here’s the thing, in the past one month, every time I touch the door knob, the locker knob, the window knob, I keep getting zapped by this extraordinary amount of static electricity. I should also tell you that those houses with metallic shower knobs are just not for me, I will get real electric shock from those and other people think I am imagining things. For the past year and more so recently, sometimes I reach out to some people with my hands and we end up zapping… Sometimes it is very awkward.
    The rubber could explain it, but I am curious what else one can wear indoors. Sometimes they say to wear cotton socks, sometimes they say avoid dragging your feet on the ground when walking; it causes friction and hence build up of ions…
    Well, I am no expert but I think it helps to walk barefoot on the soil or grass.
    Your question was about absorbing energy, my answer is about letting out negative energy into the earth so that we are deionized? Gosh I hope I used the correct terminology here! But seriously, the earth gives us good vibrations too, when we just connect the soles of our feet to the soil. I miss that feeling. It’s a moment to appreciate our aliveness and our oneness with the universe.

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  6. Brenda Gutu
    Brenda Gutu Kifaru Doctorate Student of Clinical Psychology
    This answer was edited.

    I lived with a narcissistic boyfriend for 3 and half years, I lost who I was. He made me believe I was bad and ungodly and that I should change, yet he was projecting his inadequacies and superiority complex on me!

    I lived with a narcissistic boyfriend for 3 and half years, I lost who I was. He made me believe I was bad and ungodly and that I should change, yet he was projecting his inadequacies and superiority complex on me!

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  7. Brenda Gutu
    Brenda Gutu Kifaru Doctorate Student of Clinical Psychology

    Hey Gloria, one of my favourite mentors, a retired Professor of Philosophy and Religion always said and still says, "We become the stories we see, hear, taste and smell during the first 16 years of life, and it's subconscious so we are often not aware of it! Even racists, they were told we black smeRead more

    Hey Gloria, one of my favourite mentors, a retired Professor of Philosophy and Religion always said and still says, “We become the stories we see, hear, taste and smell during the first 16 years of life, and it’s subconscious so we are often not aware of it! Even racists, they were told we black smell horrible and our brains don’t work well, so it takes a major effort to change from that horrible story.”

    And psychology has it that children form personality based on what they imprint from their caregivers especially through attachment styles. When a child is born, their mind is an empty slate. Children learn the most through observation, tell them what to be fine, but they will learn to be from who one is as a parent or guardian or caregiver.

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  8. Brenda Gutu
    Brenda Gutu Kifaru Doctorate Student of Clinical Psychology
    This answer was edited.

    This is an interesting question. My oldest thing is the attraction to childhood magic and children in general. When I was just a year old, my birthday was filled with kids and teenagers from our village. Only a handful never turned up. My papa and mama always welcomed kids even kids whose parents thRead more

    This is an interesting question. My oldest thing is the attraction to childhood magic and children in general. When I was just a year old, my birthday was filled with kids and teenagers from our village. Only a handful never turned up.
    My papa and mama always welcomed kids even kids whose parents they didn’t know. From a very tender age, my parents would rub other kids’ heads when saying hello, they’d even want to kind of playfully join in their street childhood games before walking away. I watched them interact with kids so freely, may be this kept me away from bullies because they probably loved the way my parents treated them. (I remember being popular in primary school, older kids several grades ahead would keep asking my name and they loved to hear me sing: Brenda Wanjiru Gutu Mathenge Princess… Just because my younger brother’s name is Prince and my grandfather’s name was Mathenge! 😎😂) That’s besides the point though…
    There are other memories but this one has stuck. This is how I know: When I got to the university in Nairobi after leaving our small knit village in Ol’kalou, at first I got some kind of culture shock, you know how everyone don’t know everyone and how each is for themselves? It never took long for me to realise that I had better be myself or I’d get lost somewhere in there trying to be like everybody else.
    I found myself overtime taking up my parents’ spirit into the Central Business District. I would walk in the streets, spot kids with their parents, I’d talk to them and say hello and smile at their caregivers; almost always people looked at me weirdly. I graduated to admiring unborn babies in their mothers wombs! Every time I met an expectant mom, I would stop and tell her, “you look beautiful”, and, “you both look beautiful.” Some still looked at me bewildered.
    My parents’ affinity to children and the magic within them inspired me into a children-respecting human. The ‘weirdo’ looks never stopped me. Imagine just as a second year student, I saw a lonely street boy near Anniversary Towers, and I knew he was lonely because the rest were playing as he sat alone looking low on a Sunday afternoon. I felt for him, we conversed and he told me that he would have wanted to go back home. Long story short I walked with Benson (his real name) all the way to my University hostel room, I boiled buckets of water, gave him a bath after clipping his nails, washed his wounds on thighs for laying on fire embers, and wore him my tiny clothes(he was only 8 years old) and borrowed some tiny clothes from my ‘bewildered’ roommates. I bought him rubber shoes, toothbrush and toothpaste too. We walked hand-in-hand across town to Kamukunji Police Station where I left him and he got assisted through to the children’s remand home (where I was volunteering at the time, so I knew what the outcome would be), months later he was reintegrated with his family.
    Even though about 4 months later he was spotted in the streets and I also later saw him again as a street boy before he disappeared after having a glimpse of me, I had dared followed my oldest instinct ingrained in me through my parents.. To nurture children even just for a short moment in time.
    The reason I say it is my oldest memory is because I still have a photo album of most of my childhood before my 4 years younger brother broke my father’s camera and there were no more photos… 📸🥺 In those photos I feel that my parents’ personalities shine for their love of children.
    It became the oldest thing that I can remember, my earliest childhood memory, and one of the major aspects of my personality. I’m a childhood magic believer and LOVE.
    At the University I would introduce myself as Brenda a believer in Love and still, people laughed at me and some took advantage of it… I’m now 31 years old and I still believe!

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  9. Brenda Gutu
    Brenda Gutu Kifaru Doctorate Student of Clinical Psychology
    This answer was edited.

    Honestly, I've been quite intrigued by his way of thinking. In light of the number of job applications I have done in the past decade whose efforts have been barely successful, I have considered Wajackoyah's claims to financial freedom... I have however been a bit skeptical on the initial costs of pRead more

    Honestly, I’ve been quite intrigued by his way of thinking. In light of the number of job applications I have done in the past decade whose efforts have been barely successful, I have considered Wajackoyah’s claims to financial freedom… I have however been a bit skeptical on the initial costs of producing high quality/grade yield of marijuana for export. If it is not as much as I have spent on job applications or just slightly higher, it looks like a venture I may as well consider!
    I have also been skeptical of the fact that, if such a project was to gain popularity in Kenya, do you think the benefits would directly reach us? I think the rich people would be the first beneficiaries… The poor would definitely make it as they would get jobs in their farms?
    In the process of paying foreign debt, I think still the rich will get richer, the poor will get poorer.
    So sometimes I tend to think Wajackoyah should just say he is going to legalize the local use of bhang as a recreational drug instead of saying how he will liberate the country from debt. The former is more appealing to think about, the latter makes me bite my lower lip thinking that if this succeeds then it will be the rich who have resources like land and capital who benefit first.
    Anyways, I wonder how legalising weed for local use is going to free poor Kenyans from poverty? On legalising it’s planting for export, how long is the effect going to trickle down to reach poor Kenyans?
    Honestly, Wajackoyah’s views kind of appeal blindly to Kenyans like me who are educated and jobless. After all , he is a Professor, right? He should know what he is saying right!?
    Let me just say this, if he shows us exactly how this marijuana planting thing is not going to oppress poor Kenyans then I’m in… Like every community program, he should be telling us how it is going to be articulated so that to not create other problems while trying to solve foreign debt. On that, he should employ community psychologists like myself who can help with research and beneficiary involvement!

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